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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm
Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

I personally struggle to talk about my s*&%idal thoughts and ideations with MH workers because it usually goes one of two ways:

1. They freak out and call the cops

2. They go through this list of asking if I can do something to distract myself during these thoughts

Both of these cases assume that the s*&%idal thoughts and ideations are temporary or come and go and that I just have to "get through this immediate moment" and I'll be better on the other side.

This isn't true for me - I kinda live in a state of permanent 'distress' around s*&#ide. It constantly feels like something might come along and break the camels back (for the record, there is nothing like that right now and I am safe etc) at any moment. It doesn't come in waves, nor does watching my favourite TV show, or eating, or excersising help. I feel live in a constant state of "about-to-be-pushed-over-the-edge" for lack of a better term.

I thought this was kind of common, but having talked to a MH professional recently and they were surpised by this, so maybe it isnt? Thinking back, it would make sense as most reactions from MH workers when you mention the S word seem to assume it is a temporary state we just have to get through in the immediacy. There doesn't seem to be much information or training for someone who is consistantly in that state.

I'm curious: has anyone else experienced this? Does it have a name? Is there a way I can easily convey this state to MH professionals?
Many thanks

4 replies

In response to: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

Re: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

Hey @Jlol 

 

I also have chronic s ideation. As you experienced, most mental health professionals tend to view it as this temporary state that I just need to ride out when really, it’s been like this to some extent since I was 14. My current psych is the only one who has gotten it. She knows when it’s necessary to escalate support and when to just sit with and validate me. I honestly don’t know what makes her different, maybe because she is a private psychiatrist or maybe because she’s older/more experienced. I think ultimately, it’s about finding the right professional that is confident in dealing with chronic s ideation. It does unfortunately take a lot of work to find the right fit. I do think chronic s ideation is less common that reactionary s ideation and that makes it difficult for professionals. However, in saying that, you are definitely not alone and the right support for you is out there.

In response to: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

Re: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

You might try speaking to someone with lived experience - https://rosesintheocean.com.au/peer-care-companion-warmline/

 

They have a policy of not calling 000 unless the person states immediate intent and disengages from the call.  https://rosesintheocean.com.au/our-000-position/

In response to: Re: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

Re: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

@Lapis_Anteater @Jlol Yes, I relate too.

I very much confused a MH line person once because I was calling because I was distressed that I wasn’t letting myself suicide. 🤣 . It took them over 30 minutes to understand this.

 

What have I learned this year?

For me - Autism. Explains my chronic suicidal desires that I’ve had since I was pre-teen age.

Just flagging this, because in my over 20 years of suicidality no one realised I was autistic because I mask so much and no one explicitly asked me the “right questions”. 

I came on tonight because I found a video where a researcher is discussing autism & suicidality - and her research is what made me realise I probably was autistic (whether or not it would be diagnosable… turns out I am very diagnosed autistic now).

Sharing in case any of this resonates: https://www.spantoolkit.com/ . The video "A Discussion of Safety Plans and Suicide Prevention” is spot-on for me. 😊

In response to: Re: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

Re: Do MH professionals understand there is a difference between constant s*&#idal ideation and brief spikes of it?

"For me - Autism. Explains my chronic suicidal desires"

Yes! 100% yes! I haven't been formally diagnosed but a couple of counsellors have strongly suggested I have autism. I think this too is what makes regular counselling and therapy so difficult for me to interact with.

THanks for the link. I will check it out.

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