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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm
Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Managing thoughts of suicide

jsm74 Contributor

Managing thoughts of suicide

Five years after being discarded by my wife after an 8 year marriage (no clear explanation, apart from "my love changed, followed by complete indifference) I still miss her deeply.  We haven spoken in around 3 years, her final massage being "thanks (and sorry!) for everything.  Take care" I still crave the connection I thought we had. Five years seems entirely too long, and my only explanation is that I cant seem to evision a future without her.  Im 51 and feeling like life is effectively reduced to working some job i don't care about, even despite working on a masters degree to change careers.  I genuinely have no vision of any future i could possibly care about, so I dont know how to steel myself for a life of pointlessness and boredom.  Ive tried behavioural activation, but nothing brings me any pleasure apart from drinking.  No kids, family or friends, so my loss would impact nothing and nobody.

1 reply

In response to: Managing thoughts of suicide

tyme Community Lead

Re: Managing thoughts of suicide

Awww mate @jsm74 ,

 

So sorry to hear about what has happened. It sounds like she had challenges of her own which has in turn impacted you. I'm sense how raw this is for you, and I want to say that it is completely normal and natural to feel this way. I hear the grief you are experiencing at this loss which you didn't choose to have.

 

And whilst you love her dearly, I guess within your circle of control, you can only focus on what you can do for yourself. I hear you have resorted to drinking, and whilst it may bring you satisfaction/numbing/dulling of emotions for a while, it is well known that alcohol ultimately depresses you - leaving you probably feeling worse.

 

I know you mentioned that work is not fulfilling for you either. As hard as it is to think about, what is something that is meaning for you? That is, something that energises you to keep you going? I wonder if we focus on these things, can you find a way out of a deep hole together?

 

Not sure if you are engaged in SANE's Recovery Club, but you may want to have a look at: https://www.sane.org/recovery-club to see if it's something of interest for you right now that might be helpful.

 

You can't change her, nor your situation, but you do have control over how to respond in moving forward.

 

You are not alone. 

 

I look forward to hearing from you.

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SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

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National Standards for Mental Health Services - IHCA Certified
Aboriginal flag Torres Strait Islander flag LGBT flag Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

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