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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm
Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

hopeless

Sumo500 New Contributor

hopeless

Its been 10 years since I found out my son, now 14 isn't my biological son. My wife had deceived me all these years and I had no idea. I still can't get over it. She is no more alive and I look after him. I care for him and love him but everyday I remember the betrayal.

I have never told anyone, not my parents or friends. Its a shame I live with daily. I was employed in a good Government job but haven't worked in years. I just dont feel any interest in doing anything or pursuing anything,

I'm just waiting for the child to grow up so I'm no longer required. It sucks being a total reject that even the woman I loved and thought loved me wanted nothing to do with me and was just using me. Ive lost all my frined, have no social life and no interest in anything.

 

3 replies

In response to: hopeless

Ru-bee Peer Support Worker

Re: hopeless

Hi @Sumo500  and welcome.

That's a really big thing to have shared for the first time and I'm glad that you've felt able to feel safe to discuss it here. 

I can only imagine how much this information has been weighing on you and hear how it has affected your relationship with your son, but also the relationship with yourself and your self-esteem. I'm really sorry that you've had to go through this.

How can we best support you here on the forums? 

In response to: Re: hopeless

Sumo500 New Contributor

Re: hopeless

Hi thanks I just wanted to let it out anonymously. Nothing more can be done about it.

In response to: Re: hopeless

Nala2022 Moderator

Re: hopeless

Hi @Sumo500, welcome to the forums.

I’m really glad you felt able to share this here, even just letting it out can take a lot.

It sounds like you’ve been carrying this on your own for a long time, and that’s a heavy thing to hold. You don’t have to go through it completely alone here, even if it’s just to get things off your chest from time to time.

We’re here to listen whenever you feel like sharing

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