I feel condemned and judged by the world

Hello @owo 

While I don't have the answers for you I can say that I'm so glad that you have found this safe place.

Please feel supported and valued unconditionally here.

No judgements, just warm embraces.

Go gently dear friend 🧡 

Thanks for sharing. While I don't know exactly my own damage, I do know I've done the wrong thing many times before (Good intentions - still not right though). I've lived with the fear of telling anyone about my past because I'm almost certain they'll leave and if they don't they'll definitely see me differently (or maybe that's just what I tell myself). 

For years I was convinced that anyone who got close to me would be in danger. Not from me directly, but because people have been turning and attacking me my whole life. I've always had trouble seeing injustice and keeping my mouth shut. Big problem with bullies as a kid. Apparently people don't like being confronted with their own bad behaviours. I pushed alot of people away in some really destructive ways because I figured it was only a matter of time before someone else came after me (because I couldn't keep my mouth shut) and the people I loved would get caught in the crossfire and be hurt as a result. I burned alot of bridges.

I think self-acceptance and forgiveness are big ones (at least for me). I can't change my past, but I can seek redemption. Even if the people I hurt or abandoned aren't willing to forgive or reconcile, all I can do is be better than I was. I have no control over other people's thoughts or feelings and really, they have every right to feel however they need to to keep their own peace. 

Hope you'll feel safe to share here, though I get it. 

Keep going. Be gentle with yourself. You are loved, and you're not alone.